I sit here checking out the Facebook page. Looking back at some of my past postings, does anyone really care that I went for a swim or a long run? Probably not, but at the time, I felt the need to post it. I look at a lot of pictures of FRIENDS, comments people post about where they went and what they did. Then there's the occasional posting that causes such a stir amongst FRIENDS and lastly, just the realization of it all that someone isn't really a FRIEND and that you don't care what they are watching on tv or where they went for the weekend, and better yet, why are you reading/receiving their post?!
I am sure if you looked in your facebook FRIENDS list, there are probably a good number of people that if you think about it, why are you following them or better yet, why are you sending them highlights? I've got this one friend that I read postings from and I just think to myself, why? Many of the posts sound so privileged, so "I'm a snooty stay-at-home SF mom," that I really want to comment back-GO FUCK YOURSELF. Or the stupid posting that causes a Facebook comment war where your FRIEND'S Friends, who are complete strangers to you, are insulting you when you're just defending the selfish "what's on your mind" posting that your so-called FRIEND happened to write without thinking about who is on their FRIEND list....which goes back to my question-how many of your FRIENDS are in fact your FRIENDS?
Some people have 200+ friends. Are they all friends? Or just people you reconnected with through Facebook? Better yet, does every FRIEND in your Facebook account need to know that you went to Napa for the weekend? Or that you bought a pair of shoes, or went to a fancy dinner? I think not. In fact, its annoying and probably equally annoying when I tell the 42 FRIENDS (yes, I only have 42, okay....maybe 30 after cleanup time) that I am going for a 13 mile run. Why do I post it? Not really sure. Perhaps one day, I wish that someone would actually care to comment-why do you run so much? Or where did you run to? In fact, the only person I can count on for a comment regularly is my dad-there's my point. He cares about my daily activities. Everyone else could care less. And when you use Facebook to brag about going to the spa, shopping, etc. your FRIENDS could probably care less as well. Okay-I do care about a good pair of shoes and a great sale but bragging of any kind, I'm just not that interested in or impressed by. And yes, when I post that I ran 13 miles, etc.--yes, I AM bragging and you could probably care less as well, except for my good ole'dad.
Pictures--this is a funny one. I love seeing my mom friends post pics of themselves in bikinis. I always comment back Hot Mama! I mean common...why else would you post a solo shot of yourself in a bikini except to show everyone how good you look in one? Hey, if you're a mom and can get away wearing a bikini, then you should be proud of it! Other than that, posed photos, head shots, etc. one photo is plenty, but an entire album dedicated to yourself, again, NOBODY cares except probably your parents and even then, there comes an age and time in one's life when even the parents don't need an entire album of just YOU. (Unless you are a model.)
Okay-no more run/swim postings from me!
It's cleanup time!
A day in the life of a new Kindergarten Mom. With two little ones going to school, this SF Mom discovers that it's not all play. The adventure begins at the sound of a bell-literally! Step in this mom's shoes as she walks, run, eats, and kills to be the Super Mom and Wife that she was born to be.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
First Month
The first month of kindergarten is ovah!! Kiddo did great. No complaints. Got the morning routine down, breakfast, uniform and all! Its been a roller coaster transition for everyone. What have I learned??? Kindergarten means WORK. And for a stay-at-home mom/dad, its the beginning of going back to work.
I haven't been this busy since 2002. I was living in NYC, working in publicity for an A-List Celebrity PR Firm. I was constantly under pressure from magazine deadlines, photo shoots, and needy celebrities, not to mention their daily desperate seeking "get me in US Weekly tactics" all the while still being responsible for my day to day work and trying to please the publicists for whom I worked with. A typical workday started at 9am and went well into the late evening since we had clients on the West Coast and usually an event after hours. A 12 hour workday with no breaks in between was the norm. Fast forward a few years, 2 beautiful girls later, we were FINALLY on an afternoon preschool schedule!! This meant late morning wake up calls (9am) and leisurly hanging out until we were ready to go. It was definitely a year to catch up on sleep!
Kindergarten unfortunately puts us right back on the early morning schedule. Add to that school responsibilities and trying to train for a marathon, its non-stop literally from 7am-5:00pm. Oh, and don't forget my work at the preschool. The combination of working on a big school event and starting a new school campaign, its been non-stop driving here and there to meet with this person and that person, pickups, more meetings, etc. I envisioned kindergarten to give me 3 hours to run wild in the wind! So WRONG! I was warned though. All of my friends who have been there, done that said Kindergarten would be a busy year. They were RIGHT!
Those long runs I have dreamt about for so long have been replaced with meetings--or at least for this month. For the first time in a loooong time, I have had to shower early, put on makeup, wear nice clothes, and oh....wash my hair (you all know I HATE doing this!!) just so I can meet with "important" people, which for me, can be a bit overwhelming. After spending the past few years around people under 3 feet tall who hardly spoke a word to being in a room with people over 5 feet tall and actually having to have an adult conversation has let's say......left me feel quite petite (I'm just 5ft)and flustered.
It's a BIG change going from "circle time" to a morning meeting with an Executive. Sounds so serious, right? Well, it is. I have to remain... what's that word...focused? Yes, focused, something that really hasn't crossed my mind in a very long time outside of online banking. Staying focused means planning ahead,(yes, I bought a planner) creating documents (eloquently written letters)and spreadsheets (why is Excel so damn difficult??), budgets (when have I ever had one) and school goals (TBD). Yip, that's me. It's like I'm this other person! This is what kindergarten has done to me. It's made me go back to work except without a paycheck! It's been 20 hour work weeks, totally volunteer, completely unpaid, zero, zilch, nada. Yet, its been the best work I have ever performed!!
Chairing my first BIG event has been a wonderful learning experience for me. It has forced me to open up, be professional, make new contacts, converse with people outside my comfort zone, and bring me back to "work mode." It has given me a sense of purpose in day to day life. It's not that being a full time mother hasn't given me purpose. It's just that "work" demands respect that a "homemaker" lacks. When you say, I have a meeting, or a conference call, it sounds important. Going to the park doesnt-even though it may be critical. Sad to say, but it brings something new to the dinner table rather than being asked how the park was. I love the fact that I have a legitimate reason for not answering the phone other than I didn't hear it! I love saying, "Sorry, but I was in a meeting" or "I have to call you back." It's invigorating in its own sick way. While dad goes to work to $upport the family, mom continues to run the household and has a part-time and very rewarding side job! Who would have thought?
I have also started a new campaign at the school, the first of its kind!! It is a year long campaign that I have committed to for the 2009-1010 school year. It is my "new baby." While this "new baby" doesn't require pumping or burping, it does ask for some pampering, a lot of attention, and drive. And like a real baby, it requires me to be committed 100%. This has also meant that sometimes, my "real" kids don't come first. This campaign has also filled a void that I have had since both my kids started school yet gives me a way that I can still be connected with them and through them but not necessarily with them.
Perhaps its the new Kindergarten Parent in me that wants to jump in, roll up her sleeves and get involved. I can't imagine every parent, every year being this busy. So far, Kindergarten has brought on a lot of mixed emotions for me. I truly want to be involved but I'm afraid that I will be in my daughter's way and her independence. I want to show her that I am a parent who is involved, but am I invading her space? It doesn't matter. I am a parent who loves her child, who want to help her thrive and I will do whatever it takes to help her succeed. And if this means missing a tempo run and seeing her at recess, then so be it.
And might I add-I LOVE being BUSY!
I haven't been this busy since 2002. I was living in NYC, working in publicity for an A-List Celebrity PR Firm. I was constantly under pressure from magazine deadlines, photo shoots, and needy celebrities, not to mention their daily desperate seeking "get me in US Weekly tactics" all the while still being responsible for my day to day work and trying to please the publicists for whom I worked with. A typical workday started at 9am and went well into the late evening since we had clients on the West Coast and usually an event after hours. A 12 hour workday with no breaks in between was the norm. Fast forward a few years, 2 beautiful girls later, we were FINALLY on an afternoon preschool schedule!! This meant late morning wake up calls (9am) and leisurly hanging out until we were ready to go. It was definitely a year to catch up on sleep!
Kindergarten unfortunately puts us right back on the early morning schedule. Add to that school responsibilities and trying to train for a marathon, its non-stop literally from 7am-5:00pm. Oh, and don't forget my work at the preschool. The combination of working on a big school event and starting a new school campaign, its been non-stop driving here and there to meet with this person and that person, pickups, more meetings, etc. I envisioned kindergarten to give me 3 hours to run wild in the wind! So WRONG! I was warned though. All of my friends who have been there, done that said Kindergarten would be a busy year. They were RIGHT!
Those long runs I have dreamt about for so long have been replaced with meetings--or at least for this month. For the first time in a loooong time, I have had to shower early, put on makeup, wear nice clothes, and oh....wash my hair (you all know I HATE doing this!!) just so I can meet with "important" people, which for me, can be a bit overwhelming. After spending the past few years around people under 3 feet tall who hardly spoke a word to being in a room with people over 5 feet tall and actually having to have an adult conversation has let's say......left me feel quite petite (I'm just 5ft)and flustered.
It's a BIG change going from "circle time" to a morning meeting with an Executive. Sounds so serious, right? Well, it is. I have to remain... what's that word...focused? Yes, focused, something that really hasn't crossed my mind in a very long time outside of online banking. Staying focused means planning ahead,(yes, I bought a planner) creating documents (eloquently written letters)and spreadsheets (why is Excel so damn difficult??), budgets (when have I ever had one) and school goals (TBD). Yip, that's me. It's like I'm this other person! This is what kindergarten has done to me. It's made me go back to work except without a paycheck! It's been 20 hour work weeks, totally volunteer, completely unpaid, zero, zilch, nada. Yet, its been the best work I have ever performed!!
Chairing my first BIG event has been a wonderful learning experience for me. It has forced me to open up, be professional, make new contacts, converse with people outside my comfort zone, and bring me back to "work mode." It has given me a sense of purpose in day to day life. It's not that being a full time mother hasn't given me purpose. It's just that "work" demands respect that a "homemaker" lacks. When you say, I have a meeting, or a conference call, it sounds important. Going to the park doesnt-even though it may be critical. Sad to say, but it brings something new to the dinner table rather than being asked how the park was. I love the fact that I have a legitimate reason for not answering the phone other than I didn't hear it! I love saying, "Sorry, but I was in a meeting" or "I have to call you back." It's invigorating in its own sick way. While dad goes to work to $upport the family, mom continues to run the household and has a part-time and very rewarding side job! Who would have thought?
I have also started a new campaign at the school, the first of its kind!! It is a year long campaign that I have committed to for the 2009-1010 school year. It is my "new baby." While this "new baby" doesn't require pumping or burping, it does ask for some pampering, a lot of attention, and drive. And like a real baby, it requires me to be committed 100%. This has also meant that sometimes, my "real" kids don't come first. This campaign has also filled a void that I have had since both my kids started school yet gives me a way that I can still be connected with them and through them but not necessarily with them.
Perhaps its the new Kindergarten Parent in me that wants to jump in, roll up her sleeves and get involved. I can't imagine every parent, every year being this busy. So far, Kindergarten has brought on a lot of mixed emotions for me. I truly want to be involved but I'm afraid that I will be in my daughter's way and her independence. I want to show her that I am a parent who is involved, but am I invading her space? It doesn't matter. I am a parent who loves her child, who want to help her thrive and I will do whatever it takes to help her succeed. And if this means missing a tempo run and seeing her at recess, then so be it.
And might I add-I LOVE being BUSY!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Healthy Eating
What is healthy eating?? Is it eating a diet of fruits and vegetables? Organic? Vegan? Shopping at stores such as Whole Foods or Trader Joe's? I am on a healthy eating kids crusade. In planning a Halloween event for 300 children, I decided it was my mission to not only have a fun event, but to have healthy foods and snacks as well. I am sure there will some moaning and groaning when someone shows up at the cotton candy line only to be greeted by a caramel apple (ugh...okay, not really...this is a compromise!) or a sneer at the organic juice being offered rather than a coca-cola, or the chocolate granola bar over the brownie. I think most parents will agree that kids can still get "jacked" up on healthy food without all the unnecessary artificial sweeteners and preservatives. And puh-leeze, don't call me a party pooper! All of our kids will and do have their fair share of treats regularly. But lets be honest here: most carnivals and fun events for kids are usually filled with crap overkill--fried foods, cotton candy, snow cones (which usually are half eaten then tossed) and sodas, all of which contriubute to sticky fingers, tummy aches, and the inevitable...sugar overload meltdown. (which I am sooooo ovah!)
My "healthy" mission started just a few months ago. I started training for a marathon and decided to see if my body would actually feel better if I changed what I ate since the saying goes, "you are what you eat," and I didn't want to be that Krispy Kreme Donut! My healthier food choices started! I s-l-o-w-l-y traded in my typical breakfast of "crap" aka--donuts, sweet muffins, leftover chocolate cake (you get the idea) and had oatmeal with fresh fruit instead. Lunch was now leftovers from dinner, and dinner was chicken cooked in every and any possible way minus the fatty sauces. I added LOTS of fruit into my regular eating(something I had NEVER done before) and gave up my love/hate relationship with beef. No more pizza 3 times a week or donut holes in the middle of the day with my little one. I now carry a bag of almonds,protein bars, etc. in my bag for mid afternoon snacking. Again, I am NOT dieting. I am making healthy eating decisions.
The first change I noticed was the difference in the way my body felt-both during and afters workouts, and on my recovery days. Rather than feeling sluggish, I felt more energized and strong. After my first 2 weeks, I decided that this would be a lifestyle change for my family. My kids controlled what they ate for so long (frozen crap) that I finally put my foot down and started having them eat real food rather than opening the freezer for their meals. I traded in pizza pockets and canned soups for roasted chicken, turkey burgers veggies and more whole grains (brown rice/wheat pasta). As I continued on this eating healthier lifestyle, I decided to look further into what is healthy and what does it mean to me.
Many people assume that because you shop at a certain store, you are buying healthy. If you are buying organic, you are buying healthy. Healthy eating means making good eating decisions that will improve your health and make you feel good. It means a diet of good proteins, vitamins, carbohydrates, and water. Not everything we eat is healthy. If I want to eat an Oreo cookie, I want the real deal and not a knock-off. These types of foods should be eaten in moderation. You can't be perfect in eating all the time. You gotta live a little, but making the right healthy decisions on a daily basis isn't that difficult, but its up to you to make the right choices.
Healthy eating choices need to be taught to our children as well. As parents, it is our duty to teach them that eating should be fun yet healthy. They need to learn and understand what vitamins and nutrition are. Every time my kids ask why they have to eat something, I tell them every health benefit that comes to mind along with the typical.....you're going to grow big and strong and you're going to eat it because I said so! (the later the most important!)
The biggest eating dilemma for our family is eating away from home. Healthy eating habits should but do not apply at restaurants. Okay-I understand the occasional pizza/burger joint meal. But what really pisses me off is that I have gotten very good at feeding my kids quality meals at home; however, when we go to a restaurant, the kid's menu is a child's delight! Fried food choices, fake macaroni and cheese, not to mention other high sodium choices, and quite frankly, an array of foods that are not even edible!! Have you ever noticed how little your child eats when you are at a restaurant? Its because your child is served a plate of shit while you are eating something that tastes good! The only bang you get for your buck while dining out with a child is that their drink cup is left empty! They sucked down their lemonade so fast that you didn't have the chance to take it back after you realized that it was "fake" lemonade. From a healthy perspective, you were probably better off ordering the Sprite soda!
Kids know that when the are not at home, their food choices are crap and that they are in control of their dining situation. They live for this!! But deep down, they don't like the crap either. Their bowel movements are mushy and weird colors. And they don't feel good inside! They get jacked up on garbage and then they crash...HARD! If you teach your kids healthy eating habits they will make good decisions on their own. You might be surprised!
Restaurants feel they are catering to us but they aren't. By having these kid-menus, they offer parents a piece of paper, 3 crayons, peace for a few minutes and a plate of indegestion! I mean yes, when I look at my child happily coloring away and I can have a 5 minute uninterrupted conversation, it seems like paradise.... but is it worth my kidding eating a crappy meal or hardly at all? It is never pleasant to go to a restaurant with a toddler. Uninterrupted conversation is best left for date night. Or better yet, how about after dinner, getting home to hear, "I'm hungry." No shit--you ate nothing!! Vacation is even worse!! How many of you have come back wishing you could give your kids a cleanse from the fried foods? !
I hope you will reconsider your child's food options the next time you are at a restaurant. Just take a look and judge for yourself. If it isn't good enough for you, it shouldn't be good enough for your kids. And if you have that taste for restaurant food, opt for takeout, prepare something healthy for your kids, and put the kiddos down earlier for that "extra" conversation time.
My "healthy" mission started just a few months ago. I started training for a marathon and decided to see if my body would actually feel better if I changed what I ate since the saying goes, "you are what you eat," and I didn't want to be that Krispy Kreme Donut! My healthier food choices started! I s-l-o-w-l-y traded in my typical breakfast of "crap" aka--donuts, sweet muffins, leftover chocolate cake (you get the idea) and had oatmeal with fresh fruit instead. Lunch was now leftovers from dinner, and dinner was chicken cooked in every and any possible way minus the fatty sauces. I added LOTS of fruit into my regular eating(something I had NEVER done before) and gave up my love/hate relationship with beef. No more pizza 3 times a week or donut holes in the middle of the day with my little one. I now carry a bag of almonds,protein bars, etc. in my bag for mid afternoon snacking. Again, I am NOT dieting. I am making healthy eating decisions.
The first change I noticed was the difference in the way my body felt-both during and afters workouts, and on my recovery days. Rather than feeling sluggish, I felt more energized and strong. After my first 2 weeks, I decided that this would be a lifestyle change for my family. My kids controlled what they ate for so long (frozen crap) that I finally put my foot down and started having them eat real food rather than opening the freezer for their meals. I traded in pizza pockets and canned soups for roasted chicken, turkey burgers veggies and more whole grains (brown rice/wheat pasta). As I continued on this eating healthier lifestyle, I decided to look further into what is healthy and what does it mean to me.
Many people assume that because you shop at a certain store, you are buying healthy. If you are buying organic, you are buying healthy. Healthy eating means making good eating decisions that will improve your health and make you feel good. It means a diet of good proteins, vitamins, carbohydrates, and water. Not everything we eat is healthy. If I want to eat an Oreo cookie, I want the real deal and not a knock-off. These types of foods should be eaten in moderation. You can't be perfect in eating all the time. You gotta live a little, but making the right healthy decisions on a daily basis isn't that difficult, but its up to you to make the right choices.
Healthy eating choices need to be taught to our children as well. As parents, it is our duty to teach them that eating should be fun yet healthy. They need to learn and understand what vitamins and nutrition are. Every time my kids ask why they have to eat something, I tell them every health benefit that comes to mind along with the typical.....you're going to grow big and strong and you're going to eat it because I said so! (the later the most important!)
The biggest eating dilemma for our family is eating away from home. Healthy eating habits should but do not apply at restaurants. Okay-I understand the occasional pizza/burger joint meal. But what really pisses me off is that I have gotten very good at feeding my kids quality meals at home; however, when we go to a restaurant, the kid's menu is a child's delight! Fried food choices, fake macaroni and cheese, not to mention other high sodium choices, and quite frankly, an array of foods that are not even edible!! Have you ever noticed how little your child eats when you are at a restaurant? Its because your child is served a plate of shit while you are eating something that tastes good! The only bang you get for your buck while dining out with a child is that their drink cup is left empty! They sucked down their lemonade so fast that you didn't have the chance to take it back after you realized that it was "fake" lemonade. From a healthy perspective, you were probably better off ordering the Sprite soda!
Kids know that when the are not at home, their food choices are crap and that they are in control of their dining situation. They live for this!! But deep down, they don't like the crap either. Their bowel movements are mushy and weird colors. And they don't feel good inside! They get jacked up on garbage and then they crash...HARD! If you teach your kids healthy eating habits they will make good decisions on their own. You might be surprised!
Restaurants feel they are catering to us but they aren't. By having these kid-menus, they offer parents a piece of paper, 3 crayons, peace for a few minutes and a plate of indegestion! I mean yes, when I look at my child happily coloring away and I can have a 5 minute uninterrupted conversation, it seems like paradise.... but is it worth my kidding eating a crappy meal or hardly at all? It is never pleasant to go to a restaurant with a toddler. Uninterrupted conversation is best left for date night. Or better yet, how about after dinner, getting home to hear, "I'm hungry." No shit--you ate nothing!! Vacation is even worse!! How many of you have come back wishing you could give your kids a cleanse from the fried foods? !
I hope you will reconsider your child's food options the next time you are at a restaurant. Just take a look and judge for yourself. If it isn't good enough for you, it shouldn't be good enough for your kids. And if you have that taste for restaurant food, opt for takeout, prepare something healthy for your kids, and put the kiddos down earlier for that "extra" conversation time.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Insomnia
Insomnia is the inability to sleep. I started to have this problem ever since Kindergarten began. I worry that I will not hear the alarm clock to wake her up, causing her to miss school. I worry she will arrive late and be told to get a tardy slip, or that she doesn't have to time to see her friends before the bell rings (very important). I worry that she won't eat her lunch or drink enough water, or that she'll be too tired to swim after school, or that we'll miss something because of traffic. I worry that Nana might forget to pick her up, and that she will be the last kid sitting there all by herself. I worry early in the morning, all day, and into the night. I cannot sleep. I have insomnia.
There was once a time in my life when I would fall fast asleep and not wake up until 12 o'clock in the afternoon. Now I am lucky if I can get to sleep at all. I use my late nights writing, surfing the Internet, lifting weights, facebook and stuffing my face. I sit and stare at the computer for hours on everything from news, clothes, food, celebrity gossip, etc. I can spend hours just reading about home improvements!! Before you know it, its one o'clock in the morning. As I proceed downstairs to bed, I make a pit stop to the bathroom. Another 20 minutes goes by as I stand in front of the mirror plucking away at my eyebrows. Then I get into bed and stare at the clock. I double, triple check to make sure the alarm is on LOUD. Then I lay there thinking about everything. Another 20 minutes goes by. I turn to look at the clock to make sure that I haven't missed the alarm. Its only 2am! "Okay," I say to myself. "You have about 5 hours, 15 minutes to sleep." Finally, I am out cold only to wake up in a panic and often times a sweat. Did I miss the alarm? I turn and look, it's 3:15am. This goes on literally every hour on the hour until...it's 7:15am and I wake up before the alarm. Now I am completely exhausted. Now, I want to sleep but I can't. I've got to get everyone ready to go to school and start our day.
My kids love to sleep. Ever since they were infants, I was fortunate enough to be able to sleep until around 9am. Things changed once preschool started, but still, waking up at 8:15am with two kids under the age of 3 ain't bad. Sometimes we would over sleep but that was okay. Missing preschool didn't matter but in Kindergarten it does! Missing school means going to school the next day with a note. It means making up homework and missed assignments. There is no longer the option of, "let just stay home today." In Kindergarten, mom has to prepare lunch and breakfast before 7:30am with sleep or not. In Kindergarten it means getting cleaned up in 15 minutes, eating in 10 and getting dressed in 5. And it means rushing out the door after that in 2. Kindergarten for a parent means being in a hurry, worrying, wondering, thinking, creating, and the obvious....not sleeping.
Perhaps sleeping is overrated? I mean I seem to function just fine throughout my day. I run/swim with barely any sleep. I continue with all my regular routines with little sleep. I manage to still cook, clean and do laundry. The only change is that I actually pulled out a tube of concealer today. I slathered it under my eyes like sunscreen. Wow! What a difference! I look.......well, like I've slept for hours!! So, who needs sleep when I can make it look like I do?!
Honestly, insomnia is happening because of all the changes that are going on. Kindergarten is a new beginning not just for your child, but for you as a parent. It is really amazing to see the transition these kids have made from preschool to Kindergarten! They are bigger, stronger, and well...they aren't crying and asking you to stay. In fact, they want you to leave! They make their "own" friends rather than playing with the preschool parents' kid you associated with. Kindergarten is on their terms. You are not just merely dropping them off. In fact, its the other way around!! They are leaving you and they know this! No more stopping by for circle time. No more hanging out singing songs! No more class parties taking pictures!! In fact, they have lost interest in parents in general! They have friends everywhere. 1st graders, 7th graders, 3rd graders. It's like their own world of little people just like them! I am the outsider showing up in my sloppy running shorts while they are all dressed-up in their pretty navy blue jumpers and shorts. Oh gosh, is my daughter embarrassed by me??!! Is this why she just high five's me when I leave?? Come to think of it, I met an 8th grader walking to school the other day, and she was embarrassed that she had a babysitter accompanying her to school!
Is this is why I am losing sleep! Why, of course!! My little girl is now a BIG girl and I want her to remain a little girl at my convenience. Okay-wait a minute. That sounds totally selfish! I am totally selfish-who am I trying to fool here? I mean, yes I want her to be a big girl and get a glass of water by herself when I am trying to read a magazine. I want her to be a big girl and wipe her own butt when I am trying to have a conversation on the phone. I want her to watch Little Einsteins because I am too lazy to get off the couch! But deep down, truth be told, I want her to be a big girl but I want her to be my baby FOREVER too. I want that sticker-wearing "I'm proud to be a Kindergartner" person to be my little baby so I can kiss her whenever I want, call her by her nickname "Bugaboo" and most importantly, so I can get some fucking sleep!
There was once a time in my life when I would fall fast asleep and not wake up until 12 o'clock in the afternoon. Now I am lucky if I can get to sleep at all. I use my late nights writing, surfing the Internet, lifting weights, facebook and stuffing my face. I sit and stare at the computer for hours on everything from news, clothes, food, celebrity gossip, etc. I can spend hours just reading about home improvements!! Before you know it, its one o'clock in the morning. As I proceed downstairs to bed, I make a pit stop to the bathroom. Another 20 minutes goes by as I stand in front of the mirror plucking away at my eyebrows. Then I get into bed and stare at the clock. I double, triple check to make sure the alarm is on LOUD. Then I lay there thinking about everything. Another 20 minutes goes by. I turn to look at the clock to make sure that I haven't missed the alarm. Its only 2am! "Okay," I say to myself. "You have about 5 hours, 15 minutes to sleep." Finally, I am out cold only to wake up in a panic and often times a sweat. Did I miss the alarm? I turn and look, it's 3:15am. This goes on literally every hour on the hour until...it's 7:15am and I wake up before the alarm. Now I am completely exhausted. Now, I want to sleep but I can't. I've got to get everyone ready to go to school and start our day.
My kids love to sleep. Ever since they were infants, I was fortunate enough to be able to sleep until around 9am. Things changed once preschool started, but still, waking up at 8:15am with two kids under the age of 3 ain't bad. Sometimes we would over sleep but that was okay. Missing preschool didn't matter but in Kindergarten it does! Missing school means going to school the next day with a note. It means making up homework and missed assignments. There is no longer the option of, "let just stay home today." In Kindergarten, mom has to prepare lunch and breakfast before 7:30am with sleep or not. In Kindergarten it means getting cleaned up in 15 minutes, eating in 10 and getting dressed in 5. And it means rushing out the door after that in 2. Kindergarten for a parent means being in a hurry, worrying, wondering, thinking, creating, and the obvious....not sleeping.
Perhaps sleeping is overrated? I mean I seem to function just fine throughout my day. I run/swim with barely any sleep. I continue with all my regular routines with little sleep. I manage to still cook, clean and do laundry. The only change is that I actually pulled out a tube of concealer today. I slathered it under my eyes like sunscreen. Wow! What a difference! I look.......well, like I've slept for hours!! So, who needs sleep when I can make it look like I do?!
Honestly, insomnia is happening because of all the changes that are going on. Kindergarten is a new beginning not just for your child, but for you as a parent. It is really amazing to see the transition these kids have made from preschool to Kindergarten! They are bigger, stronger, and well...they aren't crying and asking you to stay. In fact, they want you to leave! They make their "own" friends rather than playing with the preschool parents' kid you associated with. Kindergarten is on their terms. You are not just merely dropping them off. In fact, its the other way around!! They are leaving you and they know this! No more stopping by for circle time. No more hanging out singing songs! No more class parties taking pictures!! In fact, they have lost interest in parents in general! They have friends everywhere. 1st graders, 7th graders, 3rd graders. It's like their own world of little people just like them! I am the outsider showing up in my sloppy running shorts while they are all dressed-up in their pretty navy blue jumpers and shorts. Oh gosh, is my daughter embarrassed by me??!! Is this why she just high five's me when I leave?? Come to think of it, I met an 8th grader walking to school the other day, and she was embarrassed that she had a babysitter accompanying her to school!
Is this is why I am losing sleep! Why, of course!! My little girl is now a BIG girl and I want her to remain a little girl at my convenience. Okay-wait a minute. That sounds totally selfish! I am totally selfish-who am I trying to fool here? I mean, yes I want her to be a big girl and get a glass of water by herself when I am trying to read a magazine. I want her to be a big girl and wipe her own butt when I am trying to have a conversation on the phone. I want her to watch Little Einsteins because I am too lazy to get off the couch! But deep down, truth be told, I want her to be a big girl but I want her to be my baby FOREVER too. I want that sticker-wearing "I'm proud to be a Kindergartner" person to be my little baby so I can kiss her whenever I want, call her by her nickname "Bugaboo" and most importantly, so I can get some fucking sleep!
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