For the Love of It

Okay...countdown is here. 5 days until my first marathon. 26.2 wonderful, glorious miles of running in downtown Sacramento, California. The State Capital for crying out loud!! Just one year ago, I ran my first 10k and have had the running bug ever since. The first race was the most difficult by far. Having only ran at most 3 miles, I decide to go for a whopping 6. I got 2 girlfriends to do it with me and I was excited. I ran well and hard that is..... until mile 5 when my body literally went into shut-down mode. I got the chills, cramps, hyperventilating and all of the above. I was just about to give up but my best Friend Jenn would not let me. "We just got to get over this last hill and we're there" I can still hear her like it was yesterday. And just like that, we ran up the last bit of Fort Mason and had a fast descend to the finish line. And just like a fairytale ending, we were the only 2 who crossed at that moment and they announced our names and the crowd cheered! The kids were there to capture mommy's first moment into what would lead to a great year and introduction to A Runner's World.

Since then, I have ran a race almost every month. There was the Chinese New Year Race where I was completely drenched from the rain, Kaiser Permanente Half Marathon--my first half and the loneliest, longest race ever (or so it seemed), SF Half Marathon where the sun was shining and ran through the different neighborhoods in SF, SJ Rock-n-Roll where I ran in speedy time even with a bathroom break yet lost a dear friend, and just a few weeks ago, the Clarksburg30k-a true test of my running ability through Sacramento's Wine Country (yes, the actually have vineyards in Sacramento)...and now this CIM (California International Marathon).

To even begin to express how I feel at this very moment is just utter disbelief. I never thought I could run 6 miles let alone 26! I have poured my heart and soul into this for the last 4 months, making sacrifices I never dreamed of making. Strength training sessions with my coach, long, intense track workouts, a diligent schedule, cross training, etc. If my daughter had to ask me to be first for pickup one more time (I am notoriously late due to running) If I couldn't run during the kids school time, I would go by mom's house for free baby sitting and use her street circle as my track. I didn't miss a single run. Breakfast with friends-nope. Had to run. Late night out? Nope. Had to run. Vacation? Yes, I even managed to run on vacation! Its been for one thing and one thing only-I have had my eye on the big prize--The Boston Marathon. January 28, 2009, Super Bowl Sunday, after just running my first half marathon, my friend's dad shared with me his glory days as a runner and what it meant and felt like to run the Boston Marathon. (I have to admit, I didn't even know what it was) The sparkle in his eyes, the excitement of his voice and the bounce in his feet just when he spoke those words "BOSTON MARATHON." I wanted that. I wanted that feeling, the sparkle, the excitement, the bragging rights to say, "I ran the Boston Marathon." And there was no stopping me. That conversation changed what running meant to me forever.

Well, now that moment is here. The moment I have been waiting for. 5 more days. But guess what? Now, I'm scared. I'm afraid that I won't make it. I'm afraid that I can't do it. Then what? I have told everyone that if they don't hear from me on Sunday, its because I'm crying. I will cry for a very long, long time. I want this so bad, more than anything. I have worked my tail off for this. But that might just be my problem. Perhaps I am focusing to much mental energy on chasing the golden ticket and not focusing on my passion for running! My coach Nate reminded me that I need to go into this race without the pressures I'm putting on myself. He then asked me why I was running. Of course I replied, "Boston." But really, I am running the marathon because I love running! I love the feeling after a run, that runner's high, that sense of accomplishment after a race, that "I want to throw up feeling" when I cross the finish line! It all feels sooo good. I never thought in a million years that I would say it but...I will run another marathon and I haven't even ran this one yet! I gotta feeling guys. No matter what happens Sunday, good or bad, it's gonna be a good day for Michelle Larson.

I am already thinking about the next race, the next goal. Triathlons are for 2010. But like Nate says, "we'll talk races next week. Let's focus on this little one this weekend.";)Gotta love Nate. Without him, I wouldn't be here!

Did I say, I love running?!