A Life Gone

I lost a friend on Sunday at the San Jose Rock and Roll Half Marathon. Rose was 34 years old and leaves behind a husband and two children (6 years & 2 years). Mid-run she collapsed and died instantly.

Rose was a kind and beautiful person, inside and out. For the past 3 weeks, we have been anxiously awaiting the race. In fact, she was the reason why I decided to run this particular race. (I prefer more destination areas and San Jose, well...) She approached me 3 weeks ago to run and make a girls weekend out of it. I decided to run and brought the family instead. She also added that I had "huge thunder thighs." I didn't take this comment lightly, but as you can see, we were a match made in heaven personality wise!

Every weekday morning, we would meet at the front gate outside the school. She always had a bright smile and wore a long purple suede coat. (Sorry, Rose, but I hated that coat!) She always wanted to get together for breakfast, kids play date, hang out, etc. but I always declined due to scheduling and my own training. I always had an excuse as to why I couldn't hang out. (Basically, I didn't take the time.) I did mention she should start preparing herself for the race. I was concerned that she wasn't prepared. Although she had ran a marathon years ago, weekly running was not a part of her regular routine. Nonetheless, she looked to be in good shape, slim and definitely took care of herself.

When I crossed that finish line, never did I imagine or even think to consider that something so tragic could/would happen to my friend. In fact, I was so consumed with "Runners High" afterwards that I didn't think about anyone/anything except meeting my family and contacting my coach. When I returned to the hotel room, I saw that Rose had called me at 7:52am and left a voice mail. She then sent me a text message at 7:56:19 that read: GOOD LUCK AND HAVE FUN, CALL OR TEXT ME WHEN YOU ARE DONE. I sent her a text message at 10:22am asking HOW DID YOU DO? only I never heard back. She was already gone yet I did not know.

Monday morning I wait for Rose at our regular meeting spot but she does not come. I figure she's late and go about my day. At about 5:00pm that evening, I receive an email saying that she had passed away at the race. I was in compete shock I gasped for air. My kids were really nervous, asking questions-Mommy, what's wrong? Are you okay? What happened? I tried to pretend that everything was okay. I immediately went to my computer to check for the news. I was in denial. I called Rose and left a message for her, my voice cracking. I sent her a text message and another email. There had to be some mistake. I turned on the local news and then her story popped up. I cried. Rose was gone.

Today, 2 days after her passing, my cell phone rings and rings. I run to answer it and my heart races. The caller ID says Rose. I think...oh my god, she's alive. I answer the phone. Hello? Hello? Rose! Silence....I start to freak out....am I receiving a call from a dead person? I shout Rose! Rose! All of a sudden, a voice that sounds like hers but isn't speaks. It's her mom. The most difficult conversation I have ever had was this one. Speaking with someone who just lost their child....its horrific. Rose was too young to die! I tried to comfort her mom in the best way I knew how. We cried together. I told her how often (daily) Rose spoke of her family and how much she missed them. I can't imagine what it is like for a parent to have to bury their own child and I hope to never experience this. It was an extremely painful yet wonderful conversation because I reminded her of how special her daughter, Rose was. And just like my friendship with Rose, we immediately bonded and that in itself gave her the comfort I think she needed at that moment. I was able to share with her Rose's last voicemail/text conversation and the optimism and excitement that Rose had up to the very last minute. The grief and guilt parents carry for their own naturally is just so overwhelming and ....I don't even have the words right now. I assured her mom that Rose was happy and enjoyed living life up to her very last breath. She wanted to run this race and not because she was competitive but simply just for fun. Rose=Fun.

I never heard a siren or saw an ambulance. I don't even know where or what mile she collapsed. In fact, I didn't even know that she was gone and that's what makes it all the more shocking. How could we be at the same event and yet I hear nothing? It took more than 24 hours before I had found out. I was her last phone call. I wonder, was that her final good bye? I mean really, who call's to wish their friend GOOD LUCK right before start time?! Rose did. That's just the kind of wonderful, thoughtful person she is.

You never know when your life will be gone or when your life's mission is over. Enjoy life like Rose--to the fullest so that way, when its time to go, you're doing something you enjoy. The timing will never be perfect for anyone but that's just how life is.