Peer Pressure

As a parent, I am as over protective as they get. I am very selective as to whom I leave my kids with, when, and where. Even though my mom picks up my daughter from school twice a week, I still call her to remind her on those mornings. I have only left my kids 2x in their lives-and the first time was just last year. I don't have a regular babysitter, and aside from my parents, I don't trust anyone to care for my kids. Yes-they go to camps and activities, but I am speaking specifically about date nights, sleepovers, etc. I love my kids more than anything in this world. Probably even more than myself and my husband. I eat, sleep, breathe my kids. Healthy? Probably not, but I am getting better. Since I have taken up running, I actually get away and make time to run which means getting away.

I attend every single extra curricular activity, school function, and am very active in their schools. When I see a mean kid, I am on it. Pushing/shoving--on that too. Anyone being rude to my kid-on it. But now that my oldest has started kindergarten, I can't be on it like I used to. She is in an environment for most of the day without me, left to take care of herself. I can't protect her anymore. I have to hope that I have instilled in her good values about life and most importantly, confidence and a sense of security within herself.

Today, my daughter came home to tell me that a 3rd Grader had told her that a Kindergarten Parent was taking all the Halloween candy away from the school carnival. She then went on to ask if I was that mom. I immediately snapped, "What? Who told you that?" I was very upset. For starters, this is NOT true. But what really bothered me is that a 3rd grader said this to Lola (not knowing I was the Kindergarten parent or maybe she did?)

What really, really bothers me is that this 3rd Grader most likely got her information from her mother-who btw, emailed me begging for candy at the carnival after she spent a paragraph talking about how bad her daughter's hygiene is. WTF? Okay-first of all, what parent actually sits their kid down and says, "Honey. The Halloween carnival isn't going to have candy this year. Do you still want to go?" This parent emphasized to me via email how her daughter "'has really bad teeth, very thin enamel'" yet is not happy that I am providing a healthier school carnival format??!! Does this make any sense? I would think a parent would appreciate that a)someone is taking the time to consider healthy options for the students and b) that someone is making a conscious effort of promoting healthy eating. BUT NOOOOOOO. I get my face ripped off because there is no candy--and this part is simply not true! Yes-I have eliminated the sodas filled with high fructose syrup, no slushies, no cotton candy. But did I mention that we are having natural sodas (do the kids notice the difference) and caramel/candy apples? We have an entire edible science lab filled with candy delectables and a table designated for homemade baked sweets (Hilda's Horrible Treats!)? Okay, so I am not passing out Snickers Bars, but trust me, there is enough sugary things to go around and frankly, if my child had "really bad teeth" the last thing I would be complaining about is lack of candy for her to ingest. If anything, I would welcome a healthy change!

What I have learned in Chairing my first BIG event is that I WILL NEVER CHAIR ANY EVENT EVER AGAIN. Its impossible to please everyone and you can't help but to make enemies along the way. I thought I was doing a service to the school but instead I have had to deal with way too many egos. I know this happens at every school, with every event, etc. but call me naive, I just didn't think it would happen to me. I have put so much thought into this event, so much creativity and vision, but nobody cares. They would rather bitch about having a healthier menu than embracing it. Instead of being part of a new generation,or welcoming new ideas and new blood (no Halloween pun intended)or just simply being grateful that someone actually cares about the kids, its been grief, anxiety, and now its on the playground and has reached my kid. That's where I draw the line. Fuck with me all you want. Don't fuck with my kid. I will KILL for my kid. I don't care who you are or how old you are, but FUCK with my kid and you'll be sorry.

Today was her first test and I am sure there are more to come. I did not expect her to stick up for me, but a part of me wishes she had. My daughter's feelings were hurt and she's upset with me because she thinks I am ruining Halloween! How can this be? I am doing my best to make sure it's a fantastic event?? She knows exactly what is going to be at the carnival. Why didn't she speak up and tell this girl she was wrong?! Was she intimidated by this older girl? Probably. I have got to get through to her that she has a voice, an opinion and she can express that! Right or wrong-she can say something! She needs to speak her mind and not let these MEAN people get to her.

My daughter LOVES to get manicures. She was so excited to see Elsa (manicurist) this Saturday and have her nails painted a special way for Halloween (Black & Orange) She went to school and I guess some girls were telling her this and that about her nails. She came home and actually asked me to remove the polish! I refused and I told her not to listen to them. She went on and on that these girls said she couldn't paint her nails, etc. Not a teacher--KIDS. Most likely jealous kids who have now given my innocent child a complex about her painted fingernails. I caught her literally trying to peel away at the polish!

Peer pressure is something new for us as a family but something you all should think about. But unfortunately its a battle that we can't fight for our kids on the playground. As parents, we need to do our best to teach our children how wonderful they are inside and out. We need to teach them that they are unique individuals and that they do not have to be like everyone else. I thought I had given my daughter a good foundation but I obviously have my work cut out. Think about it with your own kids before its too late. If I had my way, I would confront every single one of these mean girls and their parents! I am so tempted to email this mom who's child is spreading nonsense on the playground! But I have to take the high road. I have to set an example for my child, no matter how hard it is. I have to teach her to keep her head up and remain strong. Parents/Friends--remember this!!! I have always thought of my kid as confident, independent and strong willed. Maybe she was having an off day today, but regardless, it's not preschool anymore. It's the REAL WORLD, and unfortunately for our kids, the world isn't getting better.